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Hierdie man kyk hoe hy Instagram -foto's van mense se kos verwoes en mense is erg ontsteld

Hierdie man kyk hoe hy Instagram -foto's van mense se kos verwoes en mense is erg ontsteld



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Kevin Freshwater 'maats' vriende se etes in die naam van komedie

Alexandra Iakovleva / istockphoto.com

'N Man in die U.K. verwoes sy vriende se mooiste estetiese kosfoto's op monsteragtige wyse-en hy neem dit alles op video vas. Sommige slagoffers dink die gag is snaaks, terwyl ander baie ontsteld lyk.

Een man in die montage staan ​​op en eis dat Freshwater vir hom nog 'n kaaskoek moet kry om die een wat hy verwoes het, te vervang. Boonop word 'n vrou wat pas 'n pragtige nagereg gekry het, regtig hartseer nadat sy besef het dat haar afspraak die aanbieding daarvan verwoes het. Die laaste ou wat in die video verskyn, staar al dan nie direk in Freshwater se siel nie, nadat die grapjas 'n koekie gebreek en op sy skoot geslinger het.

Waarskuwing: hierdie video bevat 'n mate van vloek.

Behalwe dat dit 'n reeksmaaltjie is, beweer Freshwater dat dit die brein is agter die gewilde uitdaging "The Floor Is Lava." Op 'n gegewe tydstip, as die frase genoem word, moet 'n teenstander alles laat val en bo -op enige voorwerp wat hulle van die grond skei, 'n gesmelte lawa, in veiligheid kom.

Restaurant -etes op Instagram is 'n neiging wat nooit sterf nie. Besoek hierdie vir meer maniere om u profiel op te kikker 10 bestemmings op Instagram wat u met 'n begroting kan besoek. Wees net op die uitkyk vir vars vaartuie voordat u besluit om 'n foto te neem.


My man was so verslaaf aan pornografie dat hy nie seks in die regte lewe kon hê nie

As 'n vennoot na pornografie begin kyk, verdubbel dit die risiko van egskeiding, volgens 'n nuwe studie. Een vrou weet hoekom al te goed.

Ses jaar gelede, toe ek Tim*die eerste keer ontmoet het, was alles perfek. Ons het dadelik geklik en is binne 'n jaar na ontmoeting getroud. Dit het vinnig gelyk, maar ons het dieselfde dinge liefgehad, kon oor alles praat en in soortgelyke werke gewerk. Ek het regtig gedink ek het my sielsgenoot gevind.

Maar ses jaar later, in November verlede jaar, is ons uitmekaar en Tim verhuis. Ek het in Januarie aansoek gedoen om egskeiding, en dit was teen Junie amptelik.

Almal wou weet hoekom: Waarom het ons nie eers berading probeer doen nie? Waarom het ons nie vir iemand gesê dat ons probleme ondervind nie? Waarom kon ons dit nie vir ons seun uitwerk nie? En natuurlik, waarom is ons geskei?

Ek kan jou in een woord vertel: porno. Dit klink belaglik, maar dit is die waarheid. Die pornografie was nie net 'n deel van 'n groter probleem nie was die probleem.

Ek het nog nooit 'n probleem gehad met pornografie of mense wat in hul vrye tyd daarna kyk nie. Toe ons uitgaan, het Tim vir my gesê hy het begin kyk, soos die meeste seuns, in sy jong tienerjare. Ek het my nie te veel daaroor bekommer nie, maar ek het dit net 'n ding vertel wat ouens doen. Maar toe begin ons sekslewe swaarkry. Om eerlik te wees, dit was nooit wonderlik nie. Ek het gedink dit was die spanning van werk, saam met kamermaats en die beplanning van 'n troue. Nie so iets nie. Seks het altyd vir Tim baie meer werk gelyk as wat dit behoort te wees, en hoe langer ons getroud was, hoe minder seks het ons gehad.

Aanvanklik het ek gewonder of Tim aan depressie ly, 'n lae libido het of selfs gay is (al het hy nooit belangstelling in mans getoon nie). Maar toe sien ek op 'n aand sy oop skootrekenaar en lees al die oortjies wat hy oopgemaak het, en besef dat hy 'n enorme seksuele aptyt het en dat dit net nie vir my is nie.

In plaas daarvan om saam met my te gaan slaap, het hy besluit om elke aand met sy skootrekenaar onder te bly en na pornografie te kyk. Ons het seks gehad, miskien elke drie maande. En dit was beslis nie goeie seks nie.

Maar toe sien ek op 'n aand sy oop skootrekenaar en lees al die oortjies wat hy oopgemaak het, en besef dat hy 'n enorme seksuele aptyt het en dat dit net nie vir my is nie.

Omdat ek nie 'n non in my eie huwelik wou wees nie, het ek Tim uiteindelik gekonfronteer. Ek het vir hom gesê dit is nie die pornografie self waaroor ek my bekommer nie, maar dat hy dit verkies bo my, 'n lewende, asemhalende vrou. Boonop het ons daaroor gepraat dat ons wou probeer om swanger te raak, en dat dit nie elke drie maande sou gebeur nie. Tim was dit eens dat dit 'n probleem was, en toe sê hy iets wat my regtig geskok het: hy het dit moeilik gehad om fisies deur my opgewek te word.

Ek was jonk en het myself gesond gehou. Ek was, het 'n deodorant gedra, ek het goed aangetrek. Dit het geen sin gemaak nie! Toe vertel hy my dat my liggaam hom walg. Hy het gesê dat dit nie reageer soos hy gedink het dit moet nie, dat ek vreemde geluide maak en dat my liggaamlike vloeistowwe hom uitlaat. Hy het ook genoem dat hy wens ek lyk meer soos die pornosterre, met groter borste en kleiner skaamlippe. Toe het hy gesê dat hy net nie moeilik, eenvoudig en eenvoudig kon word as hy by my was nie.

Dit was die mees verwoestende gesprek van my lewe en ek huil steeds as ek daaraan dink. Kan jy jou voorstel dat jou liggaam so stuk -stuk uitmekaar gehaal word en vir jou gesê word dat jy nie goed genoeg is nie? Is die natuurlike manier waarop u liggaam op seks reageer, verkeerd?

Tog wou Tim ons verhouding probeer laat werk, en omdat die res van ons lewe saam so goed was, was ek bereid om daarmee saam te gaan as hy na berading gaan. Dit lyk asof dit beter word en ons het meer seks gehad, maar ek het iets agtergekom. Tim wou altyd dinge wat hy gekyk het, weer opneem terwyl hy my vra om aan te trek, was of soos sy gunsteling kunstenaars te praat. En baie van die dinge wat hy wou probeer, posisies of speelgoed wat blykbaar so goed in pornografie werk, behels growwe, gewelddadige seks wat vroue op 'n baie vernederende manier behandel het. Selfs toe het dit nogal baie moeite gekos om 'n hoogtepunt te bereik. Daar was niks lekker oor daardie seks vir my nie, niks. Dit het tot op die punt gekom dat dit vir my eintlik traumaties was.

Kan jy jou voorstel dat jou liggaam so stuk -stuk uitmekaar gehaal word en vir jou gesê word dat jy nie goed genoeg is nie? Is die natuurlike manier waarop u liggaam op seks reageer, verkeerd?

Dit alles het hom blykbaar meer seker gemaak dat iets met my fout is, en ek het begin glo dat hy reg is. My selfbeeld is vernietig, ek het my liggaam gehaat. Maar een goeie ding het daaruit gekom: ek het swanger geword.

Swangerskap was 'n groot afslag vir Tim, so ons het 'n nege maande lange onderbreking van seks gehad. En ek was oukei daarmee. Die res van ons lewe was goed, ons seun was wonderlik, so ek het ongeveer twee jaar lank opgehou om vir seks te sorg. Ek het geweet hy is weer onder met sy skootrekenaar, maar ek wou dit nie hanteer nie. Dit was nie perfek nie, maar dit was goed. Boonop woon Tim nog steeds weeklikse sessies by met die terapeut.

Uiteindelik het ek egter besluit dat ek die res van my lewe nie sonder seks kan lewe nie. Ek het dus probeer om seks te begin een aand nadat ons seun geslaap het, net om te ontdek dat Tim gelieg het dat hy die terapeut gaan sien en dat hy meer afhanklik was van porno as ooit. Ek het so kwaad en verraai gevoel. Ek het my goedjies en die baba ingepak en by 'n familielid gaan bly. 'N Week later bel Tim en sê dat hy jammer is, en vra om by 'n hotel te vergader om te probeer "werk aan dinge".

Dus het ek my seun by 'n oppasser gelos, geklee en Tim ontmoet by die kroeg in die voorportaal. Hy het gesê dat hy my wou terug hê en dat hy bereid was om hierdie keer werklik behandeling te kry vir sy pornoverslaving en mdash. Hy het al die goeie dinge wat ons saam gehad het gelys, en ek het begin onthou hoekom ek in die eerste plek op hom verlief geraak het. Na 'n paar drankies is ons kamer toe. Maar sodra ek hom probeer soen het, het hy onwillekeurig geskud en weggedraai. Ek het toe geweet dit gaan nooit werk nie.

In plaas daarvan om te leer om my as 'n vrou te sien, het hy my steeds probeer inpas by sy pornofantasie. Maar ek was nie van plan om my liggaam en my begeertes meer in die gedrang te bring nie.

Ek was klaar. Ek het jare lank vergelyk met heeltemal onrealistiese vroue, en ek kon dit net nie meer nie. Ek het uiteindelik besef dat hy my steeds probeer inpas in sy pornofantasie in plaas daarvan om my as 'n vrou te sien sien. Maar ek was nie van plan om my liggaam en my begeertes meer in die gedrang te bring nie.

Ek het nie baie mense die werklike rede vir ons skeiding vertel nie. Ek is bekommerd dat hulle sal dink ek is dramaties of oorreageer. En daar is baie skaamte. 'N Deel van my dink nog steeds dat ek iets verkeerd gedoen het, dat as ek net die fantasie vir hom kon wees, ons steeds saam sou wees. Dit is vernederend. Ek is nog nie gereed om daaroor met ander vroue te praat nie, maar ek wonder hoeveel ander vroue soos ek daar buite is, wat swaarkry en wonder hoe hulle ooit sal voldoen aan die pornografiese ideaal. Ek dink daar is baie meer van ons as wat iemand weet.


My man was so verslaaf aan pornografie dat hy nie seks in die regte lewe kon hê nie

As 'n vennoot na pornografie begin kyk, verdubbel dit die risiko van egskeiding, volgens 'n nuwe studie. Een vrou weet hoekom al te goed.

Ses jaar gelede, toe ek Tim*die eerste keer ontmoet het, was alles perfek. Ons het dadelik geklik en is binne 'n jaar na ontmoeting getroud. Dit het vinnig gelyk, maar ons het dieselfde dinge liefgehad, kon oor alles praat en in soortgelyke werk gewerk. Ek het regtig gedink ek het my sielsgenoot gevind.

Maar ses jaar later, in November verlede jaar, is ons uitmekaar en Tim verhuis. Ek het in Januarie aansoek gedoen om egskeiding, en dit was teen Junie amptelik.

Almal wou weet hoekom: Waarom het ons nie eers berading probeer doen nie? Waarom het ons nie vir iemand gesê dat ons probleme ondervind nie? Waarom kon ons dit nie vir ons seun uitwerk nie? En natuurlik, waarom is ons geskei?

Ek kan jou in een woord vertel: porno. Dit klink belaglik, maar dit is die waarheid. Die pornografie was nie net 'n deel van 'n groter probleem nie was die probleem.

Ek het nog nooit 'n probleem gehad met pornografie of mense wat in hul vrye tyd daarna kyk nie. Toe ons uitgaan, het Tim vir my gesê hy het begin kyk, soos die meeste seuns, in sy jong tienerjare. Ek het my nie te veel daaroor bekommer nie, maar ek het dit net 'n ding vertel wat ouens doen. Maar toe begin ons sekslewe swaarkry. Om eerlik te wees, dit was nooit wonderlik nie. Ek het gedink dat dit die spanning was om te werk, by kamermaats te woon en om 'n troue te beplan. Nie so iets nie. Seks het altyd vir Tim baie meer werk gelyk as wat dit behoort te wees, en hoe langer ons getroud was, hoe minder seks het ons gehad.

Ek het eers gewonder of Tim aan depressie ly, 'n lae libido het of selfs gay is (al het hy nog nooit belangstelling in mans getoon nie). Maar toe sien ek op 'n aand sy oop skootrekenaar en lees al die oortjies wat hy oopgemaak het, en besef dat hy 'n enorme seksuele aptyt het en dat dit net nie vir my is nie.

In plaas daarvan om saam met my te gaan slaap, het hy besluit om elke aand met sy skootrekenaar onder te bly en na pornografie te kyk. Ons het seks gehad, miskien elke drie maande. En dit was beslis nie goeie seks nie.

Maar toe sien ek op 'n aand sy oop skootrekenaar en lees al die oortjies wat hy oopgemaak het, en besef dat hy 'n enorme seksuele aptyt het en dat dit net nie vir my is nie.

Omdat ek nie 'n non in my eie huwelik wou wees nie, het ek uiteindelik vir Tim gekonfronteer. Ek het vir hom gesê dit is nie die pornografie self waaroor ek my bekommer nie, maar dat hy dit verkies bo my, 'n lewende, asemhalende vrou. Boonop het ons daaroor gepraat dat ons wou probeer om swanger te raak, en dit sou nie elke drie maande seks hê nie. Tim was dit eens dat dit 'n probleem was, en toe sê hy iets wat my regtig geskok het: hy het dit moeilik gehad om fisies deur my opgewek te word.

Ek was jonk en het myself gesond gehou. Ek was, het 'n deodorant gedra, ek het goed aangetrek. Dit het geen sin gemaak nie! Toe vertel hy my dat my liggaam hom walg. Hy het gesê dat dit nie reageer soos hy gedink het dit moet nie, dat ek vreemde geluide maak en dat my liggaamlike vloeistowwe hom uitlaat. Hy het ook genoem dat hy wens ek lyk meer soos die pornosterre, met groter borste en kleiner skaamlippe. Toe het hy gesê dat hy net nie moeilik, eenvoudig en eenvoudig kon word as hy by my was nie.

Dit was die mees verwoestende gesprek van my lewe en ek huil steeds as ek daaraan dink. Kan jy jou voorstel dat jou liggaam so stuk -stuk uitmekaar gehaal word en vir jou gesê word dat jy nie goed genoeg is nie? Is die natuurlike manier waarop u liggaam op seks reageer, verkeerd?

Tog wou Tim ons verhouding probeer laat werk, en omdat die res van ons lewe saam so goed was, was ek bereid om daarmee saam te gaan as hy na berading gaan. Dit lyk asof dit beter word en ons het meer seks gehad, maar ek het iets agtergekom. Tim wou altyd dinge wat hy gekyk het, weer opneem terwyl hy my vra om aan te trek, was of soos sy gunsteling kunstenaars te praat. En baie van die dinge wat hy wou probeer, posisies of speelgoed wat blykbaar so goed in pornografie werk, behels growwe, gewelddadige seks wat vroue op 'n baie vernederende manier behandel het. Selfs toe het dit nogal baie moeite gekos om 'n hoogtepunt te bereik. Daar was niks lekker oor daardie seks vir my nie, niks. Dit het tot op die punt gekom dat dit eintlik vir my traumaties was.

Kan jy jou voorstel dat jou liggaam so stuk vir stuk uitgesny word en vir jou gesê word dat jy nie goed genoeg is nie? Is die natuurlike manier waarop u liggaam op seks reageer, verkeerd?

Dit alles het hom blykbaar meer seker gemaak dat iets met my fout is, en ek het begin glo dat hy reg is. My selfbeeld is vernietig, ek het my liggaam gehaat. Maar een goeie ding het daaruit gekom: ek het swanger geword.

Swangerskap was 'n groot afslag vir Tim, so ons het 'n nege maande lange onderbreking van seks gehad. En ek was oukei daarmee. Die res van ons lewe was goed, ons seun was wonderlik, so ek het ongeveer twee jaar lank opgehou om vir seks te sorg. Ek het geweet hy is weer onder met sy skootrekenaar, maar ek wou dit nie hanteer nie. Dit was nie perfek nie, maar dit was goed. Boonop woon Tim nog steeds weeklikse sessies by met die terapeut.

Uiteindelik het ek egter besluit dat ek die res van my lewe nie sonder seks kan lewe nie. Ek het dus probeer om seks te begin een aand nadat ons seun geslaap het, net om te ontdek dat Tim gelieg het dat hy die terapeut gaan sien en dat hy meer afhanklik was van porno as ooit. Ek het so kwaad en verraai gevoel. Ek het my goedjies en die baba ingepak en by 'n familielid gaan bly. 'N Week later bel Tim en sê dat hy jammer is, en vra om by 'n hotel te vergader om te probeer "werk aan dinge".

Dus het ek my seun by 'n oppasser gelos, geklee en Tim ontmoet by die kroeg in die voorportaal. Hy het gesê dat hy my wou terug hê en dat hy bereid was om hierdie keer werklik behandeling te kry vir sy pornoverslaving en mdash. Hy het al die goeie dinge wat ons saam gehad het gelys, en ek het begin onthou hoekom ek in die eerste plek op hom verlief geraak het. Na 'n paar drankies is ons kamer toe. Maar sodra ek hom probeer soen het, het hy onwillekeurig geskud en weggedraai. Ek het toe geweet dit gaan nooit werk nie.

In plaas daarvan om te leer om my as 'n vrou te sien, het hy my steeds probeer inpas by sy pornofantasieë. Maar ek was nie van plan om my liggaam en my begeertes meer in die gedrang te bring nie.

Ek was klaar. Ek het jare lank met heeltemal onrealistiese vroue vergelyk, en ek kon dit net nie meer nie. Ek het uiteindelik besef dat hy my steeds probeer inpas in sy pornofantasie in plaas daarvan om my as 'n vrou te sien sien. Maar ek was nie van plan om my liggaam en my begeertes meer in die gedrang te bring nie.

Ek het nie baie mense die werklike rede vir ons skeiding vertel nie. Ek is bekommerd dat hulle sal dink ek is dramaties of oorreageer. En daar is baie skaamte. 'N Deel van my dink nog steeds dat ek iets verkeerd gedoen het, dat as ek net die fantasie vir hom kon wees, ons steeds saam sou wees. Dit is vernederend. Ek is nog nie gereed om daaroor met ander vroue te praat nie, maar ek wonder hoeveel ander vrouens soos ek daar buite is, wat swaarkry en wonder hoe hulle ooit sal voldoen aan die pornografiese ideaal. Ek dink daar is baie meer van ons as wat iemand weet.


My man was so verslaaf aan pornografie dat hy nie seks in die regte lewe kon hê nie

As 'n vennoot na pornografie begin kyk, verdubbel dit die risiko van egskeiding, volgens 'n nuwe studie. Een vrou weet hoekom al te goed.

Ses jaar gelede, toe ek Tim*die eerste keer ontmoet het, was alles perfek. Ons het dadelik geklik en is binne 'n jaar na ontmoeting getroud. Dit het vinnig gelyk, maar ons het dieselfde dinge liefgehad, kon oor alles praat en in soortgelyke werk gewerk. Ek het regtig gedink ek het my sielsgenoot gevind.

Maar ses jaar later, in November verlede jaar, is ons uitmekaar en Tim verhuis. Ek het in Januarie aansoek gedoen om egskeiding, en dit was teen Junie amptelik.

Almal wou weet hoekom: Waarom het ons nie eers berading probeer doen nie? Waarom het ons nie vir iemand gesê dat ons probleme ondervind nie? Waarom kon ons dit nie vir ons seun uitwerk nie? En natuurlik, waarom is ons geskei?

Ek kan jou in een woord vertel: porno. Dit klink belaglik, maar dit is die waarheid. Die pornografie was nie net 'n deel van 'n groter probleem nie was die probleem.

Ek het nog nooit 'n probleem gehad met pornografie of mense wat in hul vrye tyd daarna kyk nie. Toe ons uitgaan, het Tim vir my gesê hy het begin kyk, soos die meeste seuns, in sy jong tienerjare. Ek het my nie te veel daaroor bekommer nie, maar ek het dit net 'n ding vertel wat ouens doen. Maar toe begin ons sekslewe swaarkry. Om eerlik te wees, dit was nooit wonderlik nie. Ek het gedink dat dit die spanning was om te werk, by kamermaats te woon en om 'n troue te beplan. Nie so iets nie. Seks het altyd vir Tim baie meer werk gelyk as wat dit behoort te wees, en hoe langer ons getroud was, hoe minder seks het ons gehad.

Ek het eers gewonder of Tim aan depressie ly, 'n lae libido het of selfs gay is (al het hy nog nooit belangstelling in mans getoon nie). Maar toe sien ek op 'n aand sy oop skootrekenaar en lees al die oortjies wat hy oopgemaak het, en besef dat hy 'n enorme seksuele aptyt het en dat dit net nie vir my is nie.

In plaas daarvan om saam met my te gaan slaap, het hy besluit om elke aand met sy skootrekenaar onder te bly en na pornografie te kyk. Ons het seks, miskien een keer elke drie maande, gehad. En dit was beslis nie goeie seks nie.

Maar toe sien ek op 'n aand sy oop skootrekenaar en lees al die oortjies wat hy oopgemaak het, en besef dat hy 'n enorme seksuele aptyt het en dat dit net nie vir my is nie.

Omdat ek nie 'n non in my eie huwelik wou wees nie, het ek Tim uiteindelik gekonfronteer. Ek het vir hom gesê dit is nie die pornografie self waaroor ek my bekommer nie, maar dat hy dit verkies bo my, 'n lewende, asemhalende vrou. Boonop het ons daaroor gepraat dat ons wou probeer om swanger te raak, en dat dit nie elke drie maande sou gebeur nie. Tim was dit eens dat dit 'n probleem was, en toe sê hy iets wat my regtig geskok het: hy het dit moeilik gehad om fisies deur my opgewek te word.

Ek was jonk en het myself gesond gehou. Ek was, het 'n deodorant gedra, ek het goed aangetrek. Dit het geen sin gemaak nie! Toe vertel hy my dat my liggaam hom walg. Hy het gesê dat dit nie reageer soos hy gedink het dit moet nie, dat ek vreemde geluide maak en dat my liggaamsvloeistowwe hom uitlaat. Hy het ook genoem dat hy wens ek lyk meer soos die pornosterre, met groter borste en kleiner skaamlippe. Toe het hy gesê dat hy net nie moeilik, eenvoudig en eenvoudig kon word as hy by my was nie.

Dit was die mees verwoestende gesprek van my lewe en ek huil steeds as ek daaraan dink. Kan jy jou voorstel dat jou liggaam so stuk -stuk uitmekaar gehaal word en vir jou gesê word dat jy nie goed genoeg is nie? Is die natuurlike manier waarop u liggaam op seks reageer, verkeerd?

Tog wou Tim ons verhouding probeer laat werk, en omdat die res van ons lewe saam so goed was, was ek bereid om daarmee saam te gaan as hy na berading gaan. Dit lyk asof dit beter word en ons het meer seks gehad, maar ek het iets agtergekom. Tim wou altyd dinge wat hy gekyk het, weer opneem terwyl hy my vra om aan te trek, was of soos sy gunsteling kunstenaars te praat. En baie van die dinge wat hy wou probeer, posisies of speelgoed wat blykbaar so goed in pornografie werk, behels growwe, gewelddadige seks wat vroue op 'n baie vernederende manier behandel het. Selfs toe het dit nogal baie moeite gekos om 'n hoogtepunt te bereik. Daar was niks lekker oor daardie seks vir my nie, niks. Dit het tot op die punt gekom dat dit eintlik vir my traumaties was.

Kan jy jou voorstel dat jou liggaam so stuk vir stuk uitgesny word en vir jou gesê word dat jy nie goed genoeg is nie? Is die natuurlike manier waarop u liggaam op seks reageer, verkeerd?

Dit alles het hom blykbaar meer seker gemaak dat iets met my fout is, en ek het begin glo dat hy reg is. My selfbeeld is vernietig, ek het my liggaam gehaat. Maar een goeie ding het daaruit gekom: ek het swanger geword.

Swangerskap was 'n geweldige afslag vir Tim, so ons het 'n nege maande lange onderbreking van seks gehad. En ek was oukei daarmee. Die res van ons lewe was goed, ons seun was wonderlik, so ek het vir ongeveer twee jaar opgehou om vir seks te sorg. Ek het geweet hy is weer onder met sy skootrekenaar, maar ek wou dit nie hanteer nie. Dit was nie perfek nie, maar dit was goed. Boonop woon Tim nog steeds weeklikse sessies by met die terapeut.

Uiteindelik het ek egter besluit dat ek die res van my lewe nie sonder seks kan lewe nie. Ek het dus probeer om seks te begin een aand nadat ons seun geslaap het, net om te ontdek dat Tim gelieg het dat hy die terapeut gaan sien en dat hy meer afhanklik was van porno as ooit. Ek het so kwaad en verraai gevoel. Ek het my goedjies en die baba ingepak en by 'n familielid gaan bly. 'N Week later bel Tim en sê dat hy jammer is, en vra om by 'n hotel te vergader om te probeer "werk aan dinge".

Dus het ek my seun by 'n oppasser gelos, geklee en Tim ontmoet by die kroeg in die voorportaal. Hy het gesê dat hy my wou terug hê en dat hy bereid was om hierdie keer werklik behandeling te kry vir sy pornoverslaving en mdash. Hy het al die goeie dinge wat ons saam gehad het gelys, en ek het begin onthou hoekom ek in die eerste plek op hom verlief geraak het. Na 'n paar drankies is ons kamer toe. Maar sodra ek hom probeer soen het, het hy onwillekeurig geskud en weggedraai. Ek het toe geweet dit gaan nooit werk nie.

In plaas daarvan om te leer om my as 'n vrou te sien, het hy my steeds probeer inpas by sy pornofantasieë. Maar ek was nie van plan om my liggaam en my begeertes meer in die gedrang te bring nie.

Ek was klaar. Ek het jare lank met heeltemal onrealistiese vroue vergelyk, en ek kon dit net nie meer nie. Ek het uiteindelik besef dat hy my steeds probeer inpas in sy pornofantasie in plaas daarvan om my as 'n vrou te sien sien. Maar ek was nie van plan om my liggaam en my begeertes meer in die gedrang te bring nie.

Ek het nie baie mense die werklike rede vir ons skeiding vertel nie. Ek is bekommerd dat hulle sal dink ek is dramaties of oorreageer. En daar is baie skaamte. 'N Deel van my dink nog steeds dat ek iets verkeerd gedoen het, dat as ek net die fantasie vir hom kon wees, ons steeds saam sou wees. Dit is vernederend. Ek is nog nie gereed om daaroor met ander vroue te praat nie, maar ek wonder hoeveel ander vrouens soos ek daar buite is, wat swaarkry en wonder hoe hulle ooit sal voldoen aan die pornografiese ideaal. Ek dink daar is baie meer van ons as wat iemand weet.


My man was so verslaaf aan pornografie dat hy nie seks in die regte lewe kon hê nie

As 'n vennoot na pornografie begin kyk, verdubbel dit die risiko van egskeiding, volgens 'n nuwe studie. Een vrou weet hoekom al te goed.

Ses jaar gelede, toe ek Tim*die eerste keer ontmoet het, was alles perfek. Ons het dadelik geklik en is binne 'n jaar na ontmoeting getroud. Dit het vinnig gelyk, maar ons het dieselfde dinge liefgehad, kon oor alles praat en in soortgelyke werke gewerk. Ek het regtig gedink ek het my sielsgenoot gevind.

Maar ses jaar later, in November verlede jaar, is ons uitmekaar en Tim verhuis. Ek het in Januarie aansoek gedoen om egskeiding, en dit was teen Junie amptelik.

Almal wou weet hoekom: Waarom het ons nie eers berading probeer doen nie? Waarom het ons nie vir iemand gesê dat ons probleme ondervind nie? Waarom kon ons dit nie vir ons seun uitwerk nie? En natuurlik, waarom is ons geskei?

Ek kan jou in een woord vertel: porno. Dit klink belaglik, maar dit is die waarheid. Die pornografie was nie net 'n deel van 'n groter probleem nie was die probleem.

Ek het nog nooit 'n probleem gehad met pornografie of mense wat in hul vrye tyd daarna kyk nie. Toe ons uitgaan, het Tim vir my gesê hy het begin kyk, soos die meeste seuns, in sy jong tienerjare. Ek het my nie te veel daaroor bekommer nie, maar ek het dit net 'n ding vertel wat ouens doen. Maar toe begin ons sekslewe swaarkry. Om eerlik te wees, dit was nooit wonderlik nie. Ek het gedink dit was die spanning van werk, saam met kamermaats en die beplanning van 'n troue. Nie so iets nie. Seks het altyd vir Tim baie meer werk gelyk as wat dit behoort te wees, en hoe langer ons getroud was, hoe minder seks het ons gehad.

Ek het eers gewonder of Tim aan depressie ly, 'n lae libido het of selfs gay is (al het hy nog nooit belangstelling in mans getoon nie). Maar toe sien ek op 'n aand sy oop skootrekenaar en lees al die oortjies wat hy oopgemaak het, en besef dat hy 'n enorme seksuele aptyt het en dat dit net nie vir my is nie.

In plaas daarvan om saam met my te gaan slaap, het hy besluit om elke aand met sy skootrekenaar onder te bly en na pornografie te kyk. Ons het seks gehad, miskien elke drie maande. En dit was beslis nie goeie seks nie.

Maar toe sien ek op 'n aand sy oop skootrekenaar en lees al die oortjies wat hy oopgemaak het, en besef dat hy 'n enorme seksuele aptyt het en dat dit net nie vir my is nie.

Omdat ek nie 'n non in my eie huwelik wou wees nie, het ek Tim uiteindelik gekonfronteer. Ek het vir hom gesê dit is nie die porno self waaroor ek my bekommer nie, maar dat hy dit verkies bo my, 'n lewende, asemhalende vrou. Boonop het ons daaroor gepraat dat ons wou probeer om swanger te raak, en dit sou nie elke drie maande seks hê nie. Tim was dit eens dat dit 'n probleem was, en toe sê hy iets wat my regtig geskok het: hy het dit moeilik gehad om fisies deur my opgewek te word.

Ek was jonk en het myself gesond gehou. Ek was, het 'n deodorant gedra, ek het goed aangetrek. Dit het geen sin gemaak nie! Toe vertel hy my dat my liggaam hom walg. Hy het gesê dat dit nie reageer soos hy gedink het dit moet nie, dat ek vreemde geluide maak en dat my liggaamsvloeistowwe hom uitlaat. Hy het ook genoem dat hy wens ek lyk meer soos die pornosterre, met groter borste en kleiner skaamlippe. Toe het hy gesê dat hy net nie moeilik, eenvoudig en eenvoudig kon word as hy by my was nie.

Dit was die mees verwoestende gesprek van my lewe en ek huil steeds as ek daaraan dink. Kan jy jou voorstel dat jou liggaam so stuk -stuk uitmekaar gehaal word en vir jou gesê word dat jy nie goed genoeg is nie? Is die natuurlike manier waarop u liggaam op seks reageer, verkeerd?

Tog wou Tim ons verhouding probeer laat werk, en omdat die res van ons lewe saam so goed was, was ek bereid om daarmee saam te gaan as hy na berading gaan. Dit lyk asof dit beter word en ons het meer seks gehad, maar ek het iets agtergekom. Tim wou altyd dinge wat hy gekyk het, weer opneem terwyl hy my vra om aan te trek, te was of soos sy gunsteling kunstenaars te praat. En baie van die dinge wat hy wou probeer, posisies of speelgoed wat blykbaar so goed in pornografie werk, behels growwe, gewelddadige seks wat vroue op 'n baie vernederende manier behandel het. Selfs toe het dit nogal baie moeite gekos om 'n hoogtepunt te bereik. Daar was niks lekker oor daardie seks vir my nie, niks. Dit het tot op die punt gekom dat dit vir my eintlik traumaties was.

Kan jy jou voorstel dat jou liggaam so stuk vir stuk uitgesny word en vir jou gesê word dat jy nie goed genoeg is nie? Is die natuurlike manier waarop u liggaam op seks reageer, verkeerd?

Dit alles het hom blykbaar meer seker gemaak dat iets met my fout is, en ek het begin glo dat hy reg is. My selfbeeld is vernietig, ek het my liggaam gehaat. Maar een goeie ding het daaruit gekom: ek het swanger geword.

Swangerskap was 'n groot afslag vir Tim, so ons het 'n nege maande lange onderbreking van seks gehad. En ek was oukei daarmee. Die res van ons lewe was goed, ons seun was wonderlik, so ek het ongeveer twee jaar lank opgehou om vir seks te sorg. Ek het geweet hy is weer onder met sy skootrekenaar, maar ek wou dit nie hanteer nie. Dit was nie perfek nie, maar dit was goed. Boonop woon Tim nog steeds weeklikse sessies by met die terapeut.

Uiteindelik het ek egter besluit dat ek die res van my lewe nie sonder seks kan lewe nie. Ek het dus probeer om seks te begin een aand nadat ons seun geslaap het, net om te ontdek dat Tim gelieg het dat hy die terapeut gaan sien en dat hy meer afhanklik was van porno as ooit. Ek het so kwaad en verraai gevoel. Ek het my goedjies en die baba ingepak en by 'n familielid gaan bly. 'N Week later bel Tim en sê dat hy jammer is, en vra om by 'n hotel te vergader om aan dinge te werk.

Dus het ek my seun by 'n oppasser gelos, geklee en Tim ontmoet by die kroeg in die voorportaal. Hy het gesê dat hy my wou terug hê en dat hy bereid was om hierdie keer werklik behandeling te kry vir sy pornoverslaving en mdash. Hy het al die goeie dinge wat ons saam gehad het gelys, en ek het begin onthou hoekom ek in die eerste plek op hom verlief geraak het. Na 'n paar drankies is ons kamer toe. Maar sodra ek hom probeer soen het, het hy onwillekeurig geskud en weggedraai. Ek het toe geweet dit gaan nooit werk nie.

In plaas daarvan om te leer om my as 'n vrou te sien, het hy my steeds probeer inpas by sy pornofantasie. Maar ek was nie van plan om my liggaam en my begeertes meer in die gedrang te bring nie.

Ek was klaar. Ek het jare lank vergelyk met heeltemal onrealistiese vroue, en ek kon dit net nie meer nie. Ek het uiteindelik besef dat hy my steeds probeer inpas in sy pornofantasie in plaas daarvan om my as 'n vrou te sien sien. Maar ek was nie van plan om my liggaam en my begeertes meer in die gedrang te bring nie.

Ek het nie baie mense die werklike rede vir ons skeiding vertel nie. Ek is bekommerd dat hulle sal dink ek is dramaties of oorreageer. En daar is baie skaamte. 'N Deel van my dink nog steeds dat ek iets verkeerd gedoen het, dat as ek net die fantasie vir hom kon wees, ons steeds saam sou wees. Dit is vernederend. Ek is nog nie gereed om daaroor met ander vroue te praat nie, maar ek wonder hoeveel ander vrouens soos ek daar buite is, wat swaarkry en wonder hoe hulle ooit sal voldoen aan die pornografiese ideaal. Ek dink daar is baie meer van ons as wat iemand weet.


My man was so verslaaf aan pornografie dat hy nie seks in die regte lewe kon hê nie

As 'n vennoot na pornografie begin kyk, verdubbel dit die risiko van egskeiding, volgens 'n nuwe studie. Een vrou weet hoekom al te goed.

Ses jaar gelede, toe ek Tim*die eerste keer ontmoet het, was alles perfek. Ons het dadelik geklik en is binne 'n jaar na ontmoeting getroud. Dit het vinnig gelyk, maar ons het dieselfde dinge liefgehad, kon oor alles praat en in soortgelyke werk gewerk. Ek het regtig gedink ek het my sielsgenoot gevind.

Maar ses jaar later, in November verlede jaar, is ons uitmekaar en Tim verhuis. Ek het in Januarie aansoek gedoen om egskeiding, en dit was teen Junie amptelik.

Almal wou weet hoekom: Waarom het ons nie eers berading probeer doen nie? Waarom het ons nie vir iemand gesê dat ons probleme ondervind nie? Waarom kon ons dit nie vir ons seun uitwerk nie? En natuurlik, waarom is ons geskei?

Ek kan jou in een woord vertel: porno. Dit klink belaglik, maar dit is die waarheid. Die pornografie was nie net 'n deel van 'n groter probleem nie was die probleem.

Ek het nog nooit 'n probleem gehad met pornografie of mense wat in hul vrye tyd daarna kyk nie. Toe ons uitgaan, het Tim vir my gesê dat hy begin kyk het, soos die meeste seuns, in sy jong tienerjare. Ek het my nie te veel daaroor bekommer nie, maar ek het dit net 'n ding vertel wat ouens doen. Maar toe begin ons sekslewe swaarkry. Om eerlik te wees, dit was nooit wonderlik nie. I thought that was from the stress of working, living with roommates, and planning a wedding, and figured once we settled down we'd work it out. Not somuch . Sex always seemed like a lot more work for Tim than it should be, and the longer we were married, the less sex we were having.

At first, I wondered if Tim was suffering from depression, had a low libido, or might even be gay (even though he'd never shown any interest in men). But then I saw his open laptop one evening and read all the tabs he had open, and realized that he had an enormous sexual appetite &mdash just not for me.

Instead of coming to bed with me, he was choosing to stay downstairs every evening with his laptop, watching porn. We were down to having sex maybe once every three months. And it definitely wasn't good sex.

But then I saw his open laptop one evening and read all the tabs he had open, and realized that he had an enormous sexual appetite &mdash just not for me.

Not wanting to be a nun in my own marriage, I finally confronted Tim. I told him it wasn't the porn itself I was worried about, but that he preferred it to me, a living, breathing woman. Plus, we had talked about wanting to try getting pregnant, and that just wasn't going to happen having sex every three months. Tim agreed it was an issue and then he said something that really shocked me: He was having a hard time being physically aroused by me.

I was young and kept myself healthy. I waxed, I wore deodorant, I dressed well. It didn't make any sense! Then he told me that my body disgusted him. He said it didn't react the way he thought it should, that I made weird noises, and that my bodily fluids grossed him out. He also mentioned that he wished I looked more like the porn stars, with bigger breasts and smaller labia. Then he said he just couldn't get hard, plain and simple, when he was with me.

It was the most devastating conversation of my life and I still cry when I think about it. Can you imagine having your body picked apart piece by piece like that and being told you're not good enough? That the natural way your body responds to sex is wrong?

Still, Tim wanted to try to make our relationship work and because the rest of our life together was so good, I was willing to go along with that if he went to counseling. Things seemed to be getting better &mdash we were having more sex &mdash but I started to notice something. Tim always wanted to reenact things he'd watched while asking me to dress or wax or talk like his favorite performers. And lot of the things he wanted to try, positions or toys that seemed to work so well in porn, involved rough, violent sex that treated women in a very degrading way. Even then, it still took a lot of effort for him to climax. There was nothing fun about that sex for me, nothing. It was getting to the point that it was actually traumatic for me.

Can you imagine having your body picked apart piece by piece like that and being told you're not good enough? That the natural way your body responds to sex is wrong?

All this seemed to make him more sure that something was wrong with me, and I was starting to believe he might be right. My self-esteem was destroyed I hated my body. But one good thing did come from it: I got pregnant.

Pregnancy was a massive turn-off for Tim, so we took a nine-month hiatus from sex. And I was okay with that. The rest of our life was good, our son was amazing, so I kind of gave up caring about sex for about two years. I knew he was downstairs with his laptop again, but I didn't want to deal with that. It wasn't perfect, but it was okay. Plus, Tim was still attending weekly sessions with the therapist.

Eventually, though, I decided I couldn't live without sex for the rest of my life. So I made an attempt to initiate sex one night after our son was asleep, only to discover that Tim had been lying about seeing the therapist and he was more dependent on porn than ever. I felt so angry and betrayed. I packed up my things and the baby and went to stay with a relative. A week later, Tim called, saying he was sorry, and asked to meet at a hotel to try and "work on things."

So I left my son with a sitter, dressed up, and met Tim at the bar in the lobby. He said he wanted me back and was willing to get treatment for his porn addiction &mdash for real this time. He listed all the good things we had together and I began to remember why I fell in love with him in the first place. After a few drinks, we headed up to the room. But as soon as I started trying to kiss him, he involuntarily shuddered and turned away. I knew then it wasn't ever going to work.

Instead of learning to see me as a woman, he was still trying to fit me into his porn fantasies. But I wasn't going to compromise my body and my wants anymore for his.

I was done. I'd spent years being compared to completely unrealistic women, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I finally realized that instead of learning to see me as a woman, he was still trying to fit me into his porn fantasies. But I wasn't going to compromise my body and my wants anymore for his.

I haven't told many people the real reason for our split. I'm worried they'll think I'm being dramatic or overreacting. And there's a lot of shame. Part of me still thinks I did something wrong, that if I could have just been that fantasy for him, we'd still be together. It's humiliating. I'm not ready to talk about it with other women yet, but I do wonder how many other wives like me are out there, suffering and wondering how they'll ever measure up to the pornographic ideal. I think there are a lot more of us than anyone knows.


My Husband Was So Addicted to Porn He Couldn't Have Sex In Real Life

When one partner starts looking at porn, it triples the risk of divorce, according to a new study. One woman knows why all too well.

Six years ago, when I first met Tim*, everything seemed to be perfect. We clicked immediately and were married within a year of meeting. It seemed fast, but we loved all the same things, could talk about anything, and worked in similar jobs. I really thought I'd found my soul mate.

But six years later, last November, we split and Tim moved out. I filed for divorce in January, and it was official by June.

Everyone wanted to know why: Why weren't we trying counseling first? Why didn't we tell anyone we were having problems? Why couldn't we work it out for our son? And, of course, why did we get divorced?

I can tell you in one word: porn. It sounds ridiculous, but it's the truth. The porn wasn't just a part of some bigger problem, it was die probleem.

I've never had a problem with porn or people looking at it in their free time. When we were dating, Tim told me he started looking at it, like most boys, in his young teens. I didn't worry too much about it, chalking it up to just a thing guys do. But then our sex life started to suffer. To be honest, it was never amazing. I thought that was from the stress of working, living with roommates, and planning a wedding, and figured once we settled down we'd work it out. Not somuch . Sex always seemed like a lot more work for Tim than it should be, and the longer we were married, the less sex we were having.

At first, I wondered if Tim was suffering from depression, had a low libido, or might even be gay (even though he'd never shown any interest in men). But then I saw his open laptop one evening and read all the tabs he had open, and realized that he had an enormous sexual appetite &mdash just not for me.

Instead of coming to bed with me, he was choosing to stay downstairs every evening with his laptop, watching porn. We were down to having sex maybe once every three months. And it definitely wasn't good sex.

But then I saw his open laptop one evening and read all the tabs he had open, and realized that he had an enormous sexual appetite &mdash just not for me.

Not wanting to be a nun in my own marriage, I finally confronted Tim. I told him it wasn't the porn itself I was worried about, but that he preferred it to me, a living, breathing woman. Plus, we had talked about wanting to try getting pregnant, and that just wasn't going to happen having sex every three months. Tim agreed it was an issue and then he said something that really shocked me: He was having a hard time being physically aroused by me.

I was young and kept myself healthy. I waxed, I wore deodorant, I dressed well. It didn't make any sense! Then he told me that my body disgusted him. He said it didn't react the way he thought it should, that I made weird noises, and that my bodily fluids grossed him out. He also mentioned that he wished I looked more like the porn stars, with bigger breasts and smaller labia. Then he said he just couldn't get hard, plain and simple, when he was with me.

It was the most devastating conversation of my life and I still cry when I think about it. Can you imagine having your body picked apart piece by piece like that and being told you're not good enough? That the natural way your body responds to sex is wrong?

Still, Tim wanted to try to make our relationship work and because the rest of our life together was so good, I was willing to go along with that if he went to counseling. Things seemed to be getting better &mdash we were having more sex &mdash but I started to notice something. Tim always wanted to reenact things he'd watched while asking me to dress or wax or talk like his favorite performers. And lot of the things he wanted to try, positions or toys that seemed to work so well in porn, involved rough, violent sex that treated women in a very degrading way. Even then, it still took a lot of effort for him to climax. There was nothing fun about that sex for me, nothing. It was getting to the point that it was actually traumatic for me.

Can you imagine having your body picked apart piece by piece like that and being told you're not good enough? That the natural way your body responds to sex is wrong?

All this seemed to make him more sure that something was wrong with me, and I was starting to believe he might be right. My self-esteem was destroyed I hated my body. But one good thing did come from it: I got pregnant.

Pregnancy was a massive turn-off for Tim, so we took a nine-month hiatus from sex. And I was okay with that. The rest of our life was good, our son was amazing, so I kind of gave up caring about sex for about two years. I knew he was downstairs with his laptop again, but I didn't want to deal with that. It wasn't perfect, but it was okay. Plus, Tim was still attending weekly sessions with the therapist.

Eventually, though, I decided I couldn't live without sex for the rest of my life. So I made an attempt to initiate sex one night after our son was asleep, only to discover that Tim had been lying about seeing the therapist and he was more dependent on porn than ever. I felt so angry and betrayed. I packed up my things and the baby and went to stay with a relative. A week later, Tim called, saying he was sorry, and asked to meet at a hotel to try and "work on things."

So I left my son with a sitter, dressed up, and met Tim at the bar in the lobby. He said he wanted me back and was willing to get treatment for his porn addiction &mdash for real this time. He listed all the good things we had together and I began to remember why I fell in love with him in the first place. After a few drinks, we headed up to the room. But as soon as I started trying to kiss him, he involuntarily shuddered and turned away. I knew then it wasn't ever going to work.

Instead of learning to see me as a woman, he was still trying to fit me into his porn fantasies. But I wasn't going to compromise my body and my wants anymore for his.

I was done. I'd spent years being compared to completely unrealistic women, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I finally realized that instead of learning to see me as a woman, he was still trying to fit me into his porn fantasies. But I wasn't going to compromise my body and my wants anymore for his.

I haven't told many people the real reason for our split. I'm worried they'll think I'm being dramatic or overreacting. And there's a lot of shame. Part of me still thinks I did something wrong, that if I could have just been that fantasy for him, we'd still be together. It's humiliating. I'm not ready to talk about it with other women yet, but I do wonder how many other wives like me are out there, suffering and wondering how they'll ever measure up to the pornographic ideal. I think there are a lot more of us than anyone knows.


My Husband Was So Addicted to Porn He Couldn't Have Sex In Real Life

When one partner starts looking at porn, it triples the risk of divorce, according to a new study. One woman knows why all too well.

Six years ago, when I first met Tim*, everything seemed to be perfect. We clicked immediately and were married within a year of meeting. It seemed fast, but we loved all the same things, could talk about anything, and worked in similar jobs. I really thought I'd found my soul mate.

But six years later, last November, we split and Tim moved out. I filed for divorce in January, and it was official by June.

Everyone wanted to know why: Why weren't we trying counseling first? Why didn't we tell anyone we were having problems? Why couldn't we work it out for our son? And, of course, why did we get divorced?

I can tell you in one word: porn. It sounds ridiculous, but it's the truth. The porn wasn't just a part of some bigger problem, it was die probleem.

I've never had a problem with porn or people looking at it in their free time. When we were dating, Tim told me he started looking at it, like most boys, in his young teens. I didn't worry too much about it, chalking it up to just a thing guys do. But then our sex life started to suffer. To be honest, it was never amazing. I thought that was from the stress of working, living with roommates, and planning a wedding, and figured once we settled down we'd work it out. Not somuch . Sex always seemed like a lot more work for Tim than it should be, and the longer we were married, the less sex we were having.

At first, I wondered if Tim was suffering from depression, had a low libido, or might even be gay (even though he'd never shown any interest in men). But then I saw his open laptop one evening and read all the tabs he had open, and realized that he had an enormous sexual appetite &mdash just not for me.

Instead of coming to bed with me, he was choosing to stay downstairs every evening with his laptop, watching porn. We were down to having sex maybe once every three months. And it definitely wasn't good sex.

But then I saw his open laptop one evening and read all the tabs he had open, and realized that he had an enormous sexual appetite &mdash just not for me.

Not wanting to be a nun in my own marriage, I finally confronted Tim. I told him it wasn't the porn itself I was worried about, but that he preferred it to me, a living, breathing woman. Plus, we had talked about wanting to try getting pregnant, and that just wasn't going to happen having sex every three months. Tim agreed it was an issue and then he said something that really shocked me: He was having a hard time being physically aroused by me.

I was young and kept myself healthy. I waxed, I wore deodorant, I dressed well. It didn't make any sense! Then he told me that my body disgusted him. He said it didn't react the way he thought it should, that I made weird noises, and that my bodily fluids grossed him out. He also mentioned that he wished I looked more like the porn stars, with bigger breasts and smaller labia. Then he said he just couldn't get hard, plain and simple, when he was with me.

It was the most devastating conversation of my life and I still cry when I think about it. Can you imagine having your body picked apart piece by piece like that and being told you're not good enough? That the natural way your body responds to sex is wrong?

Still, Tim wanted to try to make our relationship work and because the rest of our life together was so good, I was willing to go along with that if he went to counseling. Things seemed to be getting better &mdash we were having more sex &mdash but I started to notice something. Tim always wanted to reenact things he'd watched while asking me to dress or wax or talk like his favorite performers. And lot of the things he wanted to try, positions or toys that seemed to work so well in porn, involved rough, violent sex that treated women in a very degrading way. Even then, it still took a lot of effort for him to climax. There was nothing fun about that sex for me, nothing. It was getting to the point that it was actually traumatic for me.

Can you imagine having your body picked apart piece by piece like that and being told you're not good enough? That the natural way your body responds to sex is wrong?

All this seemed to make him more sure that something was wrong with me, and I was starting to believe he might be right. My self-esteem was destroyed I hated my body. But one good thing did come from it: I got pregnant.

Pregnancy was a massive turn-off for Tim, so we took a nine-month hiatus from sex. And I was okay with that. The rest of our life was good, our son was amazing, so I kind of gave up caring about sex for about two years. I knew he was downstairs with his laptop again, but I didn't want to deal with that. It wasn't perfect, but it was okay. Plus, Tim was still attending weekly sessions with the therapist.

Eventually, though, I decided I couldn't live without sex for the rest of my life. So I made an attempt to initiate sex one night after our son was asleep, only to discover that Tim had been lying about seeing the therapist and he was more dependent on porn than ever. I felt so angry and betrayed. I packed up my things and the baby and went to stay with a relative. A week later, Tim called, saying he was sorry, and asked to meet at a hotel to try and "work on things."

So I left my son with a sitter, dressed up, and met Tim at the bar in the lobby. He said he wanted me back and was willing to get treatment for his porn addiction &mdash for real this time. He listed all the good things we had together and I began to remember why I fell in love with him in the first place. After a few drinks, we headed up to the room. But as soon as I started trying to kiss him, he involuntarily shuddered and turned away. I knew then it wasn't ever going to work.

Instead of learning to see me as a woman, he was still trying to fit me into his porn fantasies. But I wasn't going to compromise my body and my wants anymore for his.

I was done. I'd spent years being compared to completely unrealistic women, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I finally realized that instead of learning to see me as a woman, he was still trying to fit me into his porn fantasies. But I wasn't going to compromise my body and my wants anymore for his.

I haven't told many people the real reason for our split. I'm worried they'll think I'm being dramatic or overreacting. And there's a lot of shame. Part of me still thinks I did something wrong, that if I could have just been that fantasy for him, we'd still be together. It's humiliating. I'm not ready to talk about it with other women yet, but I do wonder how many other wives like me are out there, suffering and wondering how they'll ever measure up to the pornographic ideal. I think there are a lot more of us than anyone knows.


My Husband Was So Addicted to Porn He Couldn't Have Sex In Real Life

When one partner starts looking at porn, it triples the risk of divorce, according to a new study. One woman knows why all too well.

Six years ago, when I first met Tim*, everything seemed to be perfect. We clicked immediately and were married within a year of meeting. It seemed fast, but we loved all the same things, could talk about anything, and worked in similar jobs. I really thought I'd found my soul mate.

But six years later, last November, we split and Tim moved out. I filed for divorce in January, and it was official by June.

Everyone wanted to know why: Why weren't we trying counseling first? Why didn't we tell anyone we were having problems? Why couldn't we work it out for our son? And, of course, why did we get divorced?

I can tell you in one word: porn. It sounds ridiculous, but it's the truth. The porn wasn't just a part of some bigger problem, it was die probleem.

I've never had a problem with porn or people looking at it in their free time. When we were dating, Tim told me he started looking at it, like most boys, in his young teens. I didn't worry too much about it, chalking it up to just a thing guys do. But then our sex life started to suffer. To be honest, it was never amazing. I thought that was from the stress of working, living with roommates, and planning a wedding, and figured once we settled down we'd work it out. Not somuch . Sex always seemed like a lot more work for Tim than it should be, and the longer we were married, the less sex we were having.

At first, I wondered if Tim was suffering from depression, had a low libido, or might even be gay (even though he'd never shown any interest in men). But then I saw his open laptop one evening and read all the tabs he had open, and realized that he had an enormous sexual appetite &mdash just not for me.

Instead of coming to bed with me, he was choosing to stay downstairs every evening with his laptop, watching porn. We were down to having sex maybe once every three months. And it definitely wasn't good sex.

But then I saw his open laptop one evening and read all the tabs he had open, and realized that he had an enormous sexual appetite &mdash just not for me.

Not wanting to be a nun in my own marriage, I finally confronted Tim. I told him it wasn't the porn itself I was worried about, but that he preferred it to me, a living, breathing woman. Plus, we had talked about wanting to try getting pregnant, and that just wasn't going to happen having sex every three months. Tim agreed it was an issue and then he said something that really shocked me: He was having a hard time being physically aroused by me.

I was young and kept myself healthy. I waxed, I wore deodorant, I dressed well. It didn't make any sense! Then he told me that my body disgusted him. He said it didn't react the way he thought it should, that I made weird noises, and that my bodily fluids grossed him out. He also mentioned that he wished I looked more like the porn stars, with bigger breasts and smaller labia. Then he said he just couldn't get hard, plain and simple, when he was with me.

It was the most devastating conversation of my life and I still cry when I think about it. Can you imagine having your body picked apart piece by piece like that and being told you're not good enough? That the natural way your body responds to sex is wrong?

Still, Tim wanted to try to make our relationship work and because the rest of our life together was so good, I was willing to go along with that if he went to counseling. Things seemed to be getting better &mdash we were having more sex &mdash but I started to notice something. Tim always wanted to reenact things he'd watched while asking me to dress or wax or talk like his favorite performers. And lot of the things he wanted to try, positions or toys that seemed to work so well in porn, involved rough, violent sex that treated women in a very degrading way. Even then, it still took a lot of effort for him to climax. There was nothing fun about that sex for me, nothing. It was getting to the point that it was actually traumatic for me.

Can you imagine having your body picked apart piece by piece like that and being told you're not good enough? That the natural way your body responds to sex is wrong?

All this seemed to make him more sure that something was wrong with me, and I was starting to believe he might be right. My self-esteem was destroyed I hated my body. But one good thing did come from it: I got pregnant.

Pregnancy was a massive turn-off for Tim, so we took a nine-month hiatus from sex. And I was okay with that. The rest of our life was good, our son was amazing, so I kind of gave up caring about sex for about two years. I knew he was downstairs with his laptop again, but I didn't want to deal with that. It wasn't perfect, but it was okay. Plus, Tim was still attending weekly sessions with the therapist.

Eventually, though, I decided I couldn't live without sex for the rest of my life. So I made an attempt to initiate sex one night after our son was asleep, only to discover that Tim had been lying about seeing the therapist and he was more dependent on porn than ever. I felt so angry and betrayed. I packed up my things and the baby and went to stay with a relative. A week later, Tim called, saying he was sorry, and asked to meet at a hotel to try and "work on things."

So I left my son with a sitter, dressed up, and met Tim at the bar in the lobby. He said he wanted me back and was willing to get treatment for his porn addiction &mdash for real this time. He listed all the good things we had together and I began to remember why I fell in love with him in the first place. After a few drinks, we headed up to the room. But as soon as I started trying to kiss him, he involuntarily shuddered and turned away. I knew then it wasn't ever going to work.

Instead of learning to see me as a woman, he was still trying to fit me into his porn fantasies. But I wasn't going to compromise my body and my wants anymore for his.

I was done. I'd spent years being compared to completely unrealistic women, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I finally realized that instead of learning to see me as a woman, he was still trying to fit me into his porn fantasies. But I wasn't going to compromise my body and my wants anymore for his.

I haven't told many people the real reason for our split. I'm worried they'll think I'm being dramatic or overreacting. And there's a lot of shame. Part of me still thinks I did something wrong, that if I could have just been that fantasy for him, we'd still be together. It's humiliating. I'm not ready to talk about it with other women yet, but I do wonder how many other wives like me are out there, suffering and wondering how they'll ever measure up to the pornographic ideal. I think there are a lot more of us than anyone knows.


My Husband Was So Addicted to Porn He Couldn't Have Sex In Real Life

When one partner starts looking at porn, it triples the risk of divorce, according to a new study. One woman knows why all too well.

Six years ago, when I first met Tim*, everything seemed to be perfect. We clicked immediately and were married within a year of meeting. It seemed fast, but we loved all the same things, could talk about anything, and worked in similar jobs. I really thought I'd found my soul mate.

But six years later, last November, we split and Tim moved out. I filed for divorce in January, and it was official by June.

Everyone wanted to know why: Why weren't we trying counseling first? Why didn't we tell anyone we were having problems? Why couldn't we work it out for our son? And, of course, why did we get divorced?

I can tell you in one word: porn. It sounds ridiculous, but it's the truth. The porn wasn't just a part of some bigger problem, it was die probleem.

I've never had a problem with porn or people looking at it in their free time. When we were dating, Tim told me he started looking at it, like most boys, in his young teens. I didn't worry too much about it, chalking it up to just a thing guys do. But then our sex life started to suffer. To be honest, it was never amazing. I thought that was from the stress of working, living with roommates, and planning a wedding, and figured once we settled down we'd work it out. Not somuch . Sex always seemed like a lot more work for Tim than it should be, and the longer we were married, the less sex we were having.

At first, I wondered if Tim was suffering from depression, had a low libido, or might even be gay (even though he'd never shown any interest in men). But then I saw his open laptop one evening and read all the tabs he had open, and realized that he had an enormous sexual appetite &mdash just not for me.

Instead of coming to bed with me, he was choosing to stay downstairs every evening with his laptop, watching porn. We were down to having sex maybe once every three months. And it definitely wasn't good sex.

But then I saw his open laptop one evening and read all the tabs he had open, and realized that he had an enormous sexual appetite &mdash just not for me.

Not wanting to be a nun in my own marriage, I finally confronted Tim. I told him it wasn't the porn itself I was worried about, but that he preferred it to me, a living, breathing woman. Plus, we had talked about wanting to try getting pregnant, and that just wasn't going to happen having sex every three months. Tim agreed it was an issue and then he said something that really shocked me: He was having a hard time being physically aroused by me.

I was young and kept myself healthy. I waxed, I wore deodorant, I dressed well. It didn't make any sense! Then he told me that my body disgusted him. He said it didn't react the way he thought it should, that I made weird noises, and that my bodily fluids grossed him out. He also mentioned that he wished I looked more like the porn stars, with bigger breasts and smaller labia. Then he said he just couldn't get hard, plain and simple, when he was with me.

It was the most devastating conversation of my life and I still cry when I think about it. Can you imagine having your body picked apart piece by piece like that and being told you're not good enough? That the natural way your body responds to sex is wrong?

Still, Tim wanted to try to make our relationship work and because the rest of our life together was so good, I was willing to go along with that if he went to counseling. Things seemed to be getting better &mdash we were having more sex &mdash but I started to notice something. Tim always wanted to reenact things he'd watched while asking me to dress or wax or talk like his favorite performers. And lot of the things he wanted to try, positions or toys that seemed to work so well in porn, involved rough, violent sex that treated women in a very degrading way. Even then, it still took a lot of effort for him to climax. There was nothing fun about that sex for me, nothing. It was getting to the point that it was actually traumatic for me.

Can you imagine having your body picked apart piece by piece like that and being told you're not good enough? That the natural way your body responds to sex is wrong?

All this seemed to make him more sure that something was wrong with me, and I was starting to believe he might be right. My self-esteem was destroyed I hated my body. But one good thing did come from it: I got pregnant.

Pregnancy was a massive turn-off for Tim, so we took a nine-month hiatus from sex. And I was okay with that. The rest of our life was good, our son was amazing, so I kind of gave up caring about sex for about two years. I knew he was downstairs with his laptop again, but I didn't want to deal with that. It wasn't perfect, but it was okay. Plus, Tim was still attending weekly sessions with the therapist.

Eventually, though, I decided I couldn't live without sex for the rest of my life. So I made an attempt to initiate sex one night after our son was asleep, only to discover that Tim had been lying about seeing the therapist and he was more dependent on porn than ever. I felt so angry and betrayed. I packed up my things and the baby and went to stay with a relative. A week later, Tim called, saying he was sorry, and asked to meet at a hotel to try and "work on things."

So I left my son with a sitter, dressed up, and met Tim at the bar in the lobby. He said he wanted me back and was willing to get treatment for his porn addiction &mdash for real this time. He listed all the good things we had together and I began to remember why I fell in love with him in the first place. After a few drinks, we headed up to the room. But as soon as I started trying to kiss him, he involuntarily shuddered and turned away. I knew then it wasn't ever going to work.

Instead of learning to see me as a woman, he was still trying to fit me into his porn fantasies. But I wasn't going to compromise my body and my wants anymore for his.

I was done. I'd spent years being compared to completely unrealistic women, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I finally realized that instead of learning to see me as a woman, he was still trying to fit me into his porn fantasies. But I wasn't going to compromise my body and my wants anymore for his.

I haven't told many people the real reason for our split. I'm worried they'll think I'm being dramatic or overreacting. And there's a lot of shame. Part of me still thinks I did something wrong, that if I could have just been that fantasy for him, we'd still be together. It's humiliating. I'm not ready to talk about it with other women yet, but I do wonder how many other wives like me are out there, suffering and wondering how they'll ever measure up to the pornographic ideal. I think there are a lot more of us than anyone knows.


My Husband Was So Addicted to Porn He Couldn't Have Sex In Real Life

When one partner starts looking at porn, it triples the risk of divorce, according to a new study. One woman knows why all too well.

Six years ago, when I first met Tim*, everything seemed to be perfect. We clicked immediately and were married within a year of meeting. It seemed fast, but we loved all the same things, could talk about anything, and worked in similar jobs. I really thought I'd found my soul mate.

But six years later, last November, we split and Tim moved out. I filed for divorce in January, and it was official by June.

Everyone wanted to know why: Why weren't we trying counseling first? Why didn't we tell anyone we were having problems? Why couldn't we work it out for our son? And, of course, why did we get divorced?

I can tell you in one word: porn. It sounds ridiculous, but it's the truth. The porn wasn't just a part of some bigger problem, it was die probleem.

I've never had a problem with porn or people looking at it in their free time. When we were dating, Tim told me he started looking at it, like most boys, in his young teens. I didn't worry too much about it, chalking it up to just a thing guys do. But then our sex life started to suffer. To be honest, it was never amazing. I thought that was from the stress of working, living with roommates, and planning a wedding, and figured once we settled down we'd work it out. Not somuch . Sex always seemed like a lot more work for Tim than it should be, and the longer we were married, the less sex we were having.

At first, I wondered if Tim was suffering from depression, had a low libido, or might even be gay (even though he'd never shown any interest in men). But then I saw his open laptop one evening and read all the tabs he had open, and realized that he had an enormous sexual appetite &mdash just not for me.

Instead of coming to bed with me, he was choosing to stay downstairs every evening with his laptop, watching porn. We were down to having sex maybe once every three months. And it definitely wasn't good sex.

But then I saw his open laptop one evening and read all the tabs he had open, and realized that he had an enormous sexual appetite &mdash just not for me.

Not wanting to be a nun in my own marriage, I finally confronted Tim. I told him it wasn't the porn itself I was worried about, but that he preferred it to me, a living, breathing woman. Plus, we had talked about wanting to try getting pregnant, and that just wasn't going to happen having sex every three months. Tim agreed it was an issue and then he said something that really shocked me: He was having a hard time being physically aroused by me.

I was young and kept myself healthy. I waxed, I wore deodorant, I dressed well. It didn't make any sense! Then he told me that my body disgusted him. He said it didn't react the way he thought it should, that I made weird noises, and that my bodily fluids grossed him out. He also mentioned that he wished I looked more like the porn stars, with bigger breasts and smaller labia. Then he said he just couldn't get hard, plain and simple, when he was with me.

It was the most devastating conversation of my life and I still cry when I think about it. Can you imagine having your body picked apart piece by piece like that and being told you're not good enough? That the natural way your body responds to sex is wrong?

Still, Tim wanted to try to make our relationship work and because the rest of our life together was so good, I was willing to go along with that if he went to counseling. Things seemed to be getting better &mdash we were having more sex &mdash but I started to notice something. Tim always wanted to reenact things he'd watched while asking me to dress or wax or talk like his favorite performers. And lot of the things he wanted to try, positions or toys that seemed to work so well in porn, involved rough, violent sex that treated women in a very degrading way. Even then, it still took a lot of effort for him to climax. There was nothing fun about that sex for me, nothing. It was getting to the point that it was actually traumatic for me.

Can you imagine having your body picked apart piece by piece like that and being told you're not good enough? That the natural way your body responds to sex is wrong?

All this seemed to make him more sure that something was wrong with me, and I was starting to believe he might be right. My self-esteem was destroyed I hated my body. But one good thing did come from it: I got pregnant.

Pregnancy was a massive turn-off for Tim, so we took a nine-month hiatus from sex. And I was okay with that. The rest of our life was good, our son was amazing, so I kind of gave up caring about sex for about two years. I knew he was downstairs with his laptop again, but I didn't want to deal with that. It wasn't perfect, but it was okay. Plus, Tim was still attending weekly sessions with the therapist.

Eventually, though, I decided I couldn't live without sex for the rest of my life. So I made an attempt to initiate sex one night after our son was asleep, only to discover that Tim had been lying about seeing the therapist and he was more dependent on porn than ever. I felt so angry and betrayed. I packed up my things and the baby and went to stay with a relative. A week later, Tim called, saying he was sorry, and asked to meet at a hotel to try and "work on things."

So I left my son with a sitter, dressed up, and met Tim at the bar in the lobby. He said he wanted me back and was willing to get treatment for his porn addiction &mdash for real this time. He listed all the good things we had together and I began to remember why I fell in love with him in the first place. After a few drinks, we headed up to the room. But as soon as I started trying to kiss him, he involuntarily shuddered and turned away. I knew then it wasn't ever going to work.

Instead of learning to see me as a woman, he was still trying to fit me into his porn fantasies. But I wasn't going to compromise my body and my wants anymore for his.

I was done. I'd spent years being compared to completely unrealistic women, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I finally realized that instead of learning to see me as a woman, he was still trying to fit me into his porn fantasies. But I wasn't going to compromise my body and my wants anymore for his.

I haven't told many people the real reason for our split. I'm worried they'll think I'm being dramatic or overreacting. And there's a lot of shame. Part of me still thinks I did something wrong, that if I could have just been that fantasy for him, we'd still be together. It's humiliating. I'm not ready to talk about it with other women yet, but I do wonder how many other wives like me are out there, suffering and wondering how they'll ever measure up to the pornographic ideal. I think there are a lot more of us than anyone knows.